I Just Love a “Q-Ship”.

As noted in my last posting, my lifelong love affair with cars is rooted in my earliest childhood memories. In that installment I listed a few of the cars which lit the spark of car lust in my youthful heart. On that list there’s one vehicle, which is not like the others. The Ford Country Squire station wagon stands out in sharp contrast to sporty rides like the T-bird and the Jag. At first glance the Ford would seem a mundane choice indeed. Ah, but that’s where the fun starts. That family hauler was in fact my introduction to the notion of a four-wheeled Q-ship.
“Q-ship”? The term is a military reference. In Navy parlance circa WW II, a Q-ship was a retrofitted merchant ship, a freighter or other cargo carrier, which steamed innocently alongside dozens of other similar looking ships in a convoy carrying troops and supplies to war zones in Europe and Asia. To the unsuspecting eyes of Axis sub captains and other baddies of the high seas, the Q-ship looked like an easy target, just another unarmed transport ship. But, as they soon discovered, looks can be deceiving.
Lulled into a false sense of security, the enemy approached the seemingly defenseless convoy for a close-up direct attack. At that point the Q-ships navy crew would shift the false cloth and plywood bulkheads on deck revealing a massive array of firepower and with any luck blow the startled attackers out of the water. Mission accomplished!
The only hint that our Ford wagon was a Q-ship was a small sticker on the glove compartment door, which read “McCullough Supercharger”. That’s right. The wagon, which came from the factory equipped with a V8 and three-on-the-tree manual, had been modified by the addition of a fire breathing supercharger which boosted factory horsepower output by maybe 35-40%. As a result, this bland family hauler could really haul! I’m sure my dad enjoyed blowing the doors off unsuspecting hot rodders at the local “stop light Grand Prix”.
So a Q-ship car is one, which while outwardly appearing bland and uninteresting, is in fact bristling with a whole hidden arsenal of go-fast artillery. Car nut Jay Leno is very hip to the Q-ship idea and has several great examples in his massive collection. These include a rock-stock appearing first generation Olds Toronado coupe ( one of Bill Mitchell’s best designs ) with enough high tech wizardry hidden in the engine bay, drive train and chassis to embarrass the gold-chained Ferrari crowd up and down the P.C.H.
That’s a great car but, in my opinion, not his best Q-ship. That honor should be reserved for the grandma-blue, bland as butter, ’55 Buick sedan, which served as Leno’s home, office and daily transportation when he first arrived in L.A. all those years ago. Leno still has the car and it still looks like even grandma might get bored driving it. But, while outwardly it may look like Clark Kent on a bad hair day, on the serpentine blacktop of Mulholland drive it magically morph’s into Superman on steroids. Just take a look at those four old Buick hubcaps. No, look again, a little closer this time. What appear to be hubcaps are in fact custom built, light alloy billet wheels styled to perfectly mimic the original stock chrome wheel covers. The engine and running gear are highly modified, late model Corvette pieces which all add up to a 500 + hp Q-ship that would leave the “Little Old Lady from Pasadena” choking in its dust.
My dad had more than one of these beasts over the years and I’ll discuss them in more detail in future posts. I’ve also had a few myself. The original Taurus SHO was a fine example of the genre. I had a couple of these sleepers which in the early model years looked pretty much like a million other garden variety Tauri jamming the highways and byways. There was little evidence (mostly a few badges and model specific alloy wheels) to hint that this family sedan had the hot Yamaha sourced 24 valve V6, manual tranny and beefed up suspension and brakes. That was a great car which was more than capable of running with (and even ahead of) the latest German hi-buck sports sedans of the day.
My top Q-ship pick for the 2009 model year is an easy one. Everybody already has a heads up on the Mazda speed 3 hatchback and any one of the various boosted Subies on the road. But how about that nerdy looking, bottom feeder, four door Chevy Cobalt over there? Must be a low-end rental, eh? Um, well no, not really. As it happens that particular boring compact is in fact the SS model which means it’s hood conceals a breathed-on 4 banger eagerly pumping out 260 horses. The Brembos up front will easily haul you down to double digit speeds as you approach Houlton and with the right rubber the tricked out suspension is up to any back road task you can throw at it. I know money is tight but this one has all the right stuff for around $24K. I have to believe that the average Chevy salesperson these days is what the real estate ads refer to as a “highly motivated seller”. If you can remember to point out the four doors and decent gas mileage (and if you can manage to keep your foot out of it on the test drive) your wife may actually believe that you’ve grown up. Good luck! Let me know how you make out.

Tim Sample