BLACK LIMOUSINE

Lim•ou•sine (l m -z n , l m -z n )
n.

1. Any of various large passenger vehicles, especially a luxurious automobile usually driven by a chauffeur and sometimes having a partition separating the passenger compartment from the driver's seat.

2. A van or small bus used to carry passengers on a regular route, as between an airport and a downtown area.


I have always been intrigued by the physics of a limousine’s construction: taking a factory vehicle, inserting a large mid-section, and magically fusing it all together creating a lounge on wheels. Anything can be turned into a limousine. From the traditional Cadillac or Lincoln Town Car, to the non-traditional Hummer or Dodge Charger, anything can be converted. Regardless of the form, nothing displays opulence more than arriving at a destination in a long, black stretch limo. It signifies importance, wealth and influence, as well as decadence, senior proms and weddings. None of this applies to my modest, conservative family.

My family recently needed to travel from suburban New York to Manhattan for a family business meeting. We were faced with the dilemma of how to transport 12 family members, reliably and safely, from Point A to Point B, and back again. Since the tight schedule and convenience were essential, public transportation was discussed and vetoed. Rather than having several vehicles navigate the challenges of New York City traffic, along with the parking hassles and expense, we decided to rent a limousine.

When my two boys heard the word “limousine,” their ears and interest piqued immediately. They envisioned a new experience, a taste of the good life, to live (and drive) like a sports or rock star. They misunderstood. A stretch could only hold 10 passengers, Definition Number 1. You can imagine their disappointment when Definition Number 2 arrived.

I have fantasized of being a limousine driver; of how exciting it would be to meet so many different, successful people, and the interesting experiences and places they would take you (or you take them). I always thought there could be a book in it. But the more I think about it, the more the negatives surface. Is driving a limo actually no more than being a glorified taxi driver? Is it the driver’s problem when there is a mechanical failure, or you get lost despite your GPS, or you are late and your client misses their plane? Of course it is. Most importantly, as a driver, are you responsible for the safety of the party in the back? With lots of sharp objects flying, no seat belts, and who knows what illegal activity is going on out back, is the driver responsible for it all? Of course he is. A look at this video makes me pause:



After barreling down Interstate 95 at 80 mph with the driver speaking some exotic foreign language on his cell phone the whole way, my two boys survived the dictionary Definition Number 2 for limousine. Maybe Definition Number 1 will happen for them some day. My fantasy of being a limo driver comes and goes. Maybe when I retire, I might look into being a limousine driver and write that book. In the meantime, my family and I will continue to be happily modest and conservative, without our black limousine.

"We used to ride, ride, ride, ride
In a long black limousine
Those dreams are gone baby
Locked away and never seen."

Rolling Stones, “Black Limousine”